Vampires Suck

Vampires Suck

Published on

Everybody’s most hated spoof-directors return with another one which takes a bite out of the Twilight movies. These vampire movies are known for their rather weak level of quality, and the amount of hype they generate among teenage girls. So after epic unfunny movies like Disaster Movie, Meet the Spartans, Epic Movie and Date Movie they now bring us a comedy about emo vampires, outcast girls and gay werewolves. This duo seems to be on a slow path to creating better movies, but they still have a very long journey to go. Vampires Suck is just another title on their resume they should be ashamed of.

The movie borrows elements from the first to Twilights and reveals the ending of the last one which still has to be released. The only admirable aspects of the movie are the way that they somehow created something that has a resemblance of an actual plot, the acting of Kirsten Stewart impersonator Jenn Proske who nails a steady performance and does a good job of mimicking her, and the Diedrich Bader who, as her dad, has got some of the more funny scenes. The rest however is the same bunch of lame jokes we have gotten used to getting from these guys. Their references to pop-culture are once again everywhere making it a movie that outdates itself pretty quick. A Kardashian or Tiger Woods joke is funny now, but how about in 5 years?

These guys keep on producing the same movies over and over, recycling their jokes. Jokes that aren’t even worth recycling in most cases. They are particulary fond of a quick smash referral. A “quick smash referral” is when they introduce a character from another famous movie only for him or her to get smacked/slapped/run over/etc and to be never heard of again. The Enchantment spoof where the princess comes out of the sewer only to be run over, the scene in which Hancock launches himself from his bench and hits a lamppost. Here the honor is for Alice in Wonderland as Alice gets accidentily shot and falls down the rabbit hole.

And yet somehow they manage to produce a slighly better movie than their previous efforts. These are the guys that wrote the first Scary Movie. A movie that was actually funny and created a coherent (enough) story based upon the first two movies without going too far from the source material. Here they do the same and craft a somewhat decent story based upon the events in the first two Twilight movies.

With movie titles like Disaster movie and Vampires Suck they make it too easy too rif on the movie. My guess is their next movie will be “Terrible Movie”

Vampires Suck Screenshot
The simplest way to make a Spice Girl

Vampires Suck Poster
Vampires Suck Poster
Vampires Suck
  • Year:
  • Directors:
    • Jason Friedberg
    • Aaron Seltzer
  • Cast:
    • Jenn Proske
    • Matt Lanter
    • Diedrich Bader
    • Chris Riggi
  • Genre:
  • Running time:


Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

You might also like: