Twilight

Twilight

Vampires are sexy! Well that is what this movie is trying to tell us and I can see the sexual undercurrent in all the neck biting but let’s be honest; Vampires aren’t sexy at all. What could be so sexy about a guy (or girl) with fangs for teeth, a pale white sick looking skin, who possesses no body heat and can’t even go into the sun normally? Just because a vampire looks like a photo model doesn’t make a vampire sexy.

So basically I don’t understand the hype and until the release of the movie I’ve never even heard of the books it was based upon. But let’s look through the hype, which is easy for me as I don’t see it.
Twilight is about a seventeen year old girl named Bella Swan (Kristen Stewart). She decided to live with her father in the rainy little town of Forks, Washington when her mother remarried. At school she meets the “mysterious” Edward Cullen who intrigues her. By mysterious I mean he acts like a total moron; when seated next to her in class on one of her first days of school he says nothing then all of a sudden walks out the class angry never to be seen for days. But my mind isn’t the one of a teenage girl so I don’t really understand why she would be interested in a douche like this. Then again, how many people stay with their abusive partner? After he saves her from a car accident with his super vampire-strength she starts stalking him and eventually they meet on a more personal level, start hanging out and presto; you have a normal-teen/vampire love affair.

Maybe being a vampire yourself seems cool. Well you can never go to the sunny beach and the people you can relate to aren’t large in numbers. Normal people will define you as a freak (even though they don’t know you’re a vampire). There is a cool side to it also: You have super strength, never have to sleep and you are immortal. You can also run through treetops. Yéééh, being a vampire means you can imitate a chipmunk. How cool is that?

Even if I’m not the target audience they could’ve tried to make this film appeal to a larger crowd. They should’ve started by casting another actor in the role of Edward Cullen. Robert Pattinson looks like he’s Quentin Tarantino’s mentally challenged brother. They also should give the myth more substance.That’s why Lost Boys worked and this movie doesn’t. The only epic thing in this movie is a battle in the end between the Cullen family and a group of other vampires. Which in the end is just a battle of the whole family against one super-dangerous vampire. Basically the movie to me was uninvolving. I just didn’t care for that romance and since that is what the movie revolves around I didn’t care for the movie.

Twilight is not a movie to sink your teeth in.

Twilight Screenshot
Ever seen vampires look so unscary?
Twilight
Twilight Poster
Twilight

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