This is going to be a sexist review. There is no other way I can approach The Layover than by objectifying it. You can blame me for that, but to use a very wrong form of reasoning: this movie is asking for it. Now before you start thinking that I’m a Harvey Weinstein, please let me explain to you why I’m objectifying this movie. It’s because the makers are selling this movie on its supposed sex-appeal. More specifically: the sex-appeal of its main characters, Meg and Kate. They are played by Alexandra Daddario and Kate Upton, two women known primarily for their extremely good looks and big breasts.

And I would be lying if that was not the thing that made me decide to watch this movie anyway. Even if it sucks balls, I still would have spend 88 minutes watching two very attractive, well endowed women on the screen. And if that is sexist, I would like to point out that whole flocks of women didn’t go to Magic Mike for the story line.

So yeah, Daddario and Upton were the main reason for me to watch this “sex-comedy” as it is categorized. Sadly, the movie does not deliver the goods one would expect.

The Layover - Alexandra Daddario & Kate Upton

The plot is fairly simple. Two girls who have known each other since childhood are sharing are an apartment. When both their professional careers are in a slump they decide to go on a trip to Florida together to get away from it all. On the plane they meet a very attractive guy named Ryan, whom both girls are interested in. When the plane has to land prematurely due to a hurricane, the passengers are all put into a hotel enabling the girls to get to know Ryan a little better. Quickly these two best friends become rivals as each tries to outdo the other when it comes to seducing Ryan, or at least get some alone time with him.

One of the biggest flaws this movie has is the basic premise. These are two women who have been friends since childhood. They are both very attractive even though Daddario is presented as more of a mousy character compared to Upton’s sex-bomb character who makes every male drool. Yet, as soon as an attractive man appears, they start this rivalry. Should the genders be swapped it would feel more natural. Men tend to fight over a woman a lot easier than the other way around. Or at least this vicious.

The Layover - Alexandra Daddario & Kate Upton

As a comedy The Layover’s main task is to provide some laughs. It does so at certain times, but they are few and far between. Though, I do think Kate Upton flipping the bird in a pool would make a cool “reaction Gif”. What doesn’t help is that Upton’s character is the bitchy one who goes to great lengths degrading her supposedly best friend. She borderlines on evil and her antics are often more vile than funny. They could be if they back fired at her, but they make you feel sorry for Daddario’s character.

But the worst fault this movie makes is that it is never titillating.

The Layover somehow manages to make Kate Upton look unflattering in a bathing suit. Why even put her in a bathing suit? Have they never seen her in a bikini? That woman is built for roles where she wears skimpy clothing and they manage to make her look rather bland in almost every scene. At one point I began to wonder if she pregnant during filming and they were trying to cover that up or something. There isn’t a single scene in the movie with her worthy of Yello’s Oh Yeah. Let’s face it, when you have a movie starring Kate Upton there should be at least one such scene.

The Layover - Kate Upton's dented boobs

Worst fitting bathing suit ever

The Layover also tries to convince us that Upton would make use of a gigolo. Yeah, right.

Luckily we have Daddario. Even though she’s an actress and not a model, she has been cast many times due to her curves. Her breasts were prominently featured in movies like Texas Chainsaw 3D, San Andreas and Baywatch. She even did nudity on the TV show True Detective. So when a sex-comedy like The Layover features her, you would expect some gratuitous scenes. Well you probably guessed it: you won’t find those scenes in this movie. At one point she even has a sex scene in which she keeps her clothes on, despite doing a wide variety of positions. We have entered the day and age when you have to turn on the TV to see some boobs instead of going to the movies. Back in the day it was the other way around.

Like I said, this was going to be a sexist review. But when I watch a sex-comedy with a super-model and a busty actress who is not afraid to show some skin, I’m disappointed when it turns out to be as tame as this. They could have made up for it by being hilarious, but the movie sadly isn’t.

The Layover - Alexandra Daddario bikini