The Fast and The Furious

The Fast and The Furious

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To this day I still hold The Fast And The Furious responsible for introducing auto-tuning to the general public and inspiring a whole lot of young males to invest their money in chicken-wire, plastic side skirts, flashy stickers and dog ugly spoilers for their cars. I haven’t seen this movie in over ten years and never actually bothered to watch the sequels, but somehow I felt the urge to be a masochist and decided to watch the entire franchise, starting with this one.

The Fast and The Furious is about a cop who goes undercover in a street racing gang in Los Angeles to find out who’s behind a series of robberies on trucks. These trucks are boxed in by a couple of tuned Honda Civics who have green neon lights under the car. So much for the inconspicuousness.
Paul Walker plays a baby faced cop who gets the job to infiltrate the gang of Dominic Toretto (Vin Diesel) who the cops suspect of being behind the robberies. But as Walker gets more and more involved with Toretto and falls in love with his sister he begins to suspect another gang of doing these heists: evil looking Asians.

Watching this movie I found myself laughing for all the wrong reasons. The stereotypical villains of the Asian gang, the CG-scenes where we travel through the motors of the cars, the action scenes and choices that are made pure for designing reasons. What good is green neon light under the car when you’re using it to rob a truck? How the movie goes out of its way to portray these “raped” cars as being cool and the how much the testosterone drips from the screen with all these guys and Michelle Rodriguez being macho. It reminded me of movies like Commando and Predator. The only difference is that in those movies guys like Schwarzenegger themselves ooze the masculinity, in this movie the men are measured by the specs of their cars.

But question this: how macho could a movie be when it has Ja-Rule playing a character named Edwin?

The cars portrayed are usually cars you can get relatively cheap second hand and then are completely reworked. At some point someone mentioned that a car has $100.000 of work done which made me wonder; if you have that kind of money, why not go out and buy a car originally built for these speeds? Maybe tune that car a little a more to your own liking. But luckily the Fast And The Furious has inserted for me a little scene where a tuned car has a race with a Ferrari. Guess who wins?
To me it didn’t matter that the Ferrari lost, at the end of the day Toretto still drives a dog ugly tuned car, while the Ferrari still looks classic and has more status dan a suped up Volkswagen Jetta will ever have.

This movie is the reason a smell function would not work on television, because after watching it your room would smell like a mixture of fumes, oil and sweat for days. Good luck getting that out of the drapes.

The Fast and The Furious is a mashup of racing movies from the 70’s and the action movies from the 80’s, with all of its homo-erotic undertones included here. Though Walker’s character is supposed to have an eye for Toretto’s sister, it’s he and Toretto who are constantly giving each other meaningful looks. At one point Walker starts laughing and Toretto asks why. “Dude, I almost had you” was his response. I frowned at that moment realizing the double entendre.
These guys want to be with each other, pure and simple. There’s even the character of Vince who’s instantly jealous of Walker’s good looks. It’s no wonder that some of these cars have all the colors of a rainbow.

The Fast And The Furious is described as being an action movie about men with fast cars, to me it’s a comedy about men with small penises.

The Fast and The Furious Screenshot
Paul Walker has got a salmon pink one, while Vin Diesel has a big black one that he can get up.

The Fast and The Furious Poster
The Fast and The Furious Poster
The Fast and The Furious
  • Year:
  • Director:
    • Rob Cohen
  • Cast:
    • Vin Diesel
    • Paul Walker
    • Michelle Rodriguez
    • Jordana Brewster
  • Genres:
    Action, Crime, Thriller
  • Running time:

Comments (1)
  1. Wow…no disrespect or nothing and I understand if you don’t agree to add this to ur page here , but who are you to judge a amazing movie like this? If u paid attention you’d see the fast saga is about FAMILY, being there for the ones Yoi love n care about etc. The actions scenes are just to keep the audience entertained..this movie isn’t for people like you to sit there and secretly be jealous of and judge/talk down on etc and from everything you have said on this site Paul Walker is and ALWAYS will be a MUCH better man and human than you’ll EVER be…n don’t worry about understanding the point I’m trying to make cuz I can obviously see that some major life event messed u up mentally or a childhood hero of yours that u looked up to sent ya down the wrong path etc (which sometimes happens in life , so it’s not ur fault that u can’t understand the real meaning behind these movies ) So maybe take this opportunity to re watch the fast saga and REALLY pay attention to what’s behind all the cars , half naked woman , the actors characters (u do realize that the macho n masculinity stuff u mentioned was all fake/scripted ..right? There actors /actresses just don’t there jobs ) . The very first fast n furious movie was the job that Got them all together and that started them creating all of there brother n sister like bonds that they have had since the day they all
    Met and I’m talking real life bonds not actors just acting like a family , doing there job, trying to sell the saga etc …they are ALL still very close to each other and they are all there for each other in real life , hell even vin diesel named his one kid After Paul walker n Paul made vin his daughter meadow’s god father , and when Paul died in that tragic fire /car fire etc Tyrese was one of the very first ones there to the scene when it happened single every interview I’ve seen online with the fast family..I’ve seen real pain in all of there faces when they are asked how Paul’s passing has effected them.

    So the point is Don’t be so single minded …instead of focusing on how something looks try looking for the meaning behind what your looking at …I mean have some damn soul n heart man! There is enough hate in this f@cked up world ..and honestly u saying all this stuff on here just makes ya look like another narrow/close minded A-hole . Cuz even tho I do not know any of these actors personally but what I do know for sure is that not even ONE of them would come to ur job and sit and judge you based on how U do ur job etc . Even if they weren’t famous they’d still never talk crap on you like your doing to them. Don’t see this message as me degrading you /putting you down etc …I’m a straight shooter and I say exactly what’s on my mind ,even tho it can come off kinda harsh sometimes but I don’t mean to be harsh…just helpful 👍 so either take my advice n try to see it the way me and a million other fans do or don’t take it and keep on doing whatever it is your doing on this site . I just figured maybe u legit just truly couldn’t see the meaning behind the fast saga , like maybe your not good at seeing the meaning behind stuff like this etc . So I thought I’d share with you how me and all of the cast members of the fast saga and a million other fans see the whole movie franchise . The whole cast is LEGIT all about family ..on set and off the set , hence why one of the most said words in all of the fast movies is FAMILY .

    So ok, I hope I gave you a better perspective when it comes to the fast saga . N if not then if we’ll 🤷🏻‍♀️..I tried lol and that’s all any of us can do. If I don’t see this posted on here then I at least hope you read all of this (cuz it took forever to type up lol :p lol) also If u think the way I see these movies is wrong then I welcome you yo reply to this and debate me 👍…Bring it on! 🤘💪🏻🫵🏻😇 bye!

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