While this movie may be called Mega Python vs. Gatoroid it could have just as well been called Debbie Gibson vs. Tiffany. Now I was a bit young for this apparently but it seems that both Debbie and Tiffany were a bit of rival singers back in the 80 when they were both in their teens and fighting for the top spot in the billboard #100 and now they’re rivals in this movie as one (Gibson) is an environmentalist releasing captivated pythons in the Everglades even though they don’t belong there, the other (Tiffany) is a local forest ranger whose sees the gator population decline drastically and orders to take out the snakes, which is not really appreciated by Gibson. Throw in the brilliant idea of feeding steroid filled Chickens to gators and you have a recipe for a giant reptile fight, as well as a cat fight.
Having watched Sharktopus and Mega Shark vs Crocosaurus I’ve had my dose of monster movies with extremely low budget CGI for the moment. The comments I had on both those movies I can make about this one. Not only do the monsters look fake, everything that is considered a special effect can hardly be called special. At certain moments the movie does get it right and uses actual alligators and snakes, and no, not just National Geographic stock footage though there’s plenty of that here too. Most of the time it’s just badly designed and animated CG-animals, or helicopters or even eggs. That’s right; something so easy to create in real life has been made with a computer and looks incredibly fake.
It’s weird actually when you think about it. There’s something called progress which usually has something new be better than something old due to new techniques that are invented. Yet somehow monster movies made decades ago have effects that are easily as good as they are put on display here.
But I knew what I was getting into when I put this movie on.
What is good about the movie are the two pop star leads and the humor that is put into the script. During the already legendary cat fight both girls reference hit songs of each other. Groin worthy? Yes, but it still made me smile. One one hand it’s easy, but at least it shows that the movie doesn’t take itself seriously. To top the casting off A. Martinez who we all know as Cruz from the soap Santa Barbara (Come on, admit that you know who I’m talking about) as an Indian and gator expert.
The movie absolutely derails in terms of logic at the end the movie as our protagonist use pheromones to lure both giant snakes and gators back to a place what’s rigged with explosives. So somehow these beasts are apparently all male, despite them laying eggs, and both species are attracted by a one pheromone while pheromones vary from species to species. It’s not like a dog gets turned on by cat pheromones and vice verse.
Despite the fun yet silly script and atrocious effects the movie never becomes really boring. It has two MILFs running around between all the CG-beasts and they will ’till the end of time stir up the debate who’s hotter. Debbie has an impressive physique for someone who’s 40, yet a bit too skinny for my taste. The second half of the movie has her running around in a tube dress which she constantly has to correct as it tends to slide down while 39 year old Tiffany has some curves to die for and she runs around sporting an impressive cleavage. They look great even though she does have implants.
Supporting cast offer no real standouts though Kathryn Joosten as Angie did a decent job. Too bad her final scene with a fake Python was stupid and unconvincing as hell. But that’s just what all these actors fall victim to. They’re required to interact with beast who will be added later in post production and they are added badly so these actors just look silly when they’re obviously looking past these creatures while trying to act as if they’re interacting with them.
It’s a stupid movie, but also a funny one as well.
And damn, Tiffany looked hot in those outfits they gave her.