Everly

Everly

A nude Salma Hayek holding a machine gun. If that does not draw your attention I don’t know what will. The thoughtful pose of a person with her head agains a gun or rifle is a classic movie poster pose. Just recently Zoe Saldana did the same pose for the Colombiana.
Until not long ago women above forty were considered over the hill, save for Meryl Streep. But over the past few years several women who’re pushing 50 have refused to be demoted to supporting character roles. Sandra Bullock, Jennifer Aniston, Jennifer Lopez and Cameron Diaz are all over 40 and still being top-billed in movies. While they are clearly getting older in their faces, all of these women flaunt with nudity in their latest movies: Bullock in The Proposal, Lopez in Parker,  Diaz in Sex Tape/Bad Teacher and Aniston in We’re the Millers. All showing off bodies that would make the average 20 year old jealous. Salma Hayek is the latest movie star to show as much as possible without appearing fully nude while being already 45 years old, but unlike the others I mentioned she does so in a B-movie.

Salma plays the titular Everly. She’s held in an apartment building by Chinese mobsters and exploited as a sex slave. In the opening scene we see her walking into the bathroom distressed and taking out a gun hidden in the toilet water reservoir.  While it looks at first if she’s going to commit suicide, she comes out guns blazing killing everyone in the room. This does not sit well with the mobsters who send up several people, one after another, to take care of the problem called “Everly”. They also send out a text to all the other sex slaves in the building who then take up arms to kill Everly as well in exchange for a bounty.

If you’ve read the previous paragraph closely you might question the logic, and for such a simple plot, there are a lot of highly illogical choices made by the writers. First of all an entire floor of an apartment building has been in use by Chinese gangsters for years with normal people living above and below this floor without even knowing what is going on? Somehow the slaves are practically trained assassins once they get their hands on a gun, including Everly who goes from being totally inexperienced with a weapon to top-notch sniper based on what the scene requires her to be.

Everly takes place in just one location: the apartment building. In fact, 99% of the movie takes place in her apartment with people dropping in constantly, most of them trying to kill her. It should not come as a surprise that the movie has a brisk 90 minutes running time. Despite the running time the movie drags a bit as it never lets us get invested in the characters. Even Everly remains a mystery due to sloppy writing. Here’s a woman held as a sex slave for 5 years, but doesn’t even flinch when she duct-tapes her gunshot wound. A woman who is seemingly helpless, yet waves around a Sai as if she’s a professional.

To a certain degree Everly is fairly entertaining. Even though the whole movie is preposterous, there is joy in watching Everly throw a grenade into an elevator full of men trying to kill her and playing fetch with another grenade and a ferocious dog. But at the end of the day the thing this movie will be most remembered for is Salma Hayek running around through the apartment with her boobies jiggling constantly.

Summed up Everly is all about blood and boobs.

Everly
Everly poster
Everly

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