American Pie Presents: The Naked Mile

American Pie Presents: The Naked Mile

A year after the release of Band Camp another movie under the “American Pie Presents” banner saw the light of day: The Naked Mile. They now even include the nudity directly in the title. That’s one way to make people curious and trick them into watching your movie. Including almost all of the cast in their underwear on the DVD cover is another way of doing that. Of all the American Pie movies up until now, Naked Mile screams sex-comedy the most. You did a good job Marketing Department!

In The Naked Mile the focus lies on a Steve Stifler relative again. This time his cousin Erik (John White). Erik is not like other Stiflers. He’s still a virgin, has a steady relationship with Tracy (Jessy Schram) and is not some obnoxious prankster like his cousins Steve and Matt. In fact, Erik resembles Jim a lot more than Steve. Why they didn’t make him his cousin is beyond me. Aside from the fact that this provides the movie with the plot device of him trying to live up to the family standards. Which are actually rather low standards when you come to think of it.

The only thing Erik misses in his relationship with Tracy is sex. Much like Vicky in the original American Pie she is one of those cliche movie virgins. The ones that are not ready for sex even though their bodies have been for years and they have been in a relationship for quite some time now. Girls at that age are often just as curious about sex as boys. And they have needs as well. In the case of The Naked Mile they have been going out for two years. Two years and all they do is hold hands and kiss.

Right.

The plot, if you can all it that, for Naked Mile is that Tracy gives Erik a free pass to do whatever he wants for the weekend. A weekend where he will be attending the titular Naked Mile. This is a naked run across the college campus. It’s a weekend full of booze and teens in their underwear or even less. It’s her understanding that if he loses his virginity he can get the sex drive out of his system. This way they can keep their relationship celibate until she finally thinks she is ready for sex. Tracy is probably home schooled.

Erik goes to campus with his two best friend to see his cousin Dwight. A more traditional Stifler family member, meaning he both drinks and fucks a lot of girls. At campus Erik and his friends join in on a game of Football against a rival fraternity, run the Naked mile and go to a party afterwards.

That’s it. That’s basically all that happens. The bare minimum of the plot revolving around the free pass offers no surprises at all. The whole movie revolves around one question: will Erik have sex with a random college girl or will he come to his senses and go back home to Tracy to lose their virginity each other? The answer is rather obvious.

What is left is the humor and nudity. There are a couple of funny jokes, some of them funny due to shock value. I laughed at the opening scene which has Erik masturbating to porn in the living room with head phones on. When he’s about to shoot his load his parents and grandmother come walking in. They all receive a facial and granny dies of a heart attack in the proceedings.

This is the level of humor this movie operates on. From here on it’s a collection of jokes mostly involving bodily fluids. There’s also a recurring joke about the rival fraternity consisting of little people. Sadly, this isn’t a funny joke. To fill out the running time, some segments tend to feel overlong. The football match seems to go on forever, as does the party at the end. The titular naked mile is only notable because of the large amount of nudity. Dozens of male and female extras fill the screen naked.

Compared to the previous American Pie movies, Naked Mile goes into overdrive on the nudity. Most of the previous movies had one explicit scene filled with nudity. The rest of the R-rating was mostly earned do to the use of variations of the f-word. Naked Mile has boobs during the opening scene as well as a naked John White. The movie then uses every excuse it can find to throw in full frontal female nudity.

There are nudity filled scenes in locker rooms, house parties and of course the Naked Mile itself. The segment which features tons of teens in their birthday suits. The only downside to these scenes is that they tend to feature a lot of young women with obvious breast enlargements. Something which is the case in all the American Pie movies. They’re all girls who probably like to show of what they have just bought. Like a new pair of shoes.

The Naked Mile is not really a good movie, but it has some moments, provides a few laughs and gives us plenty of naked women.

Jax Smith, Candace Kroslak and Angelique Lewis in American Pie Presents: The Naked Mile
The Naked Mile
American Pie Presents: The Naked Mile poster
American Pie Presents: The Naked Mile

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