American Pie Presents: The Book of Love

American Pie Presents: The Book of Love

The Book Of Love is the 7th movie in the American Pie series, a movie that started of with a surprise hit and was turned into a trilogy with a returning cast. After that Direct-To-DVD sequels started popping up each having less to do with the original trilogy than its predecessor. Yet there are a couple of recurring things in every movie up until now: A relative of Steve Stifler, Jim’s Dad Eugene Levenstein, lots of gratuitous nudity and sex jokes. This time is not so different…

American Pie Presents: The Book of Love goes back to the roots of the series by following three young virgins on their quest to become real men. Or at least lose their virginity. In their quest they stumble upon The Bible which was shown in the first movie. In their proceeding various painfully accidents occur like: a rape by a moose, a geriatric hooker dying while giving a blowjob, a peanut-butter sandwich getting raped and a couple of other things. As funny as this might sound I found the movie to be rather laugh-free, especially for a comedy. Counting them I guess I would have to say that I laughed about three times during the entire 90 minutes this movie lasts. At least one of those moments was completely sex-free as it concerns the electric vehicle Eugene Levy drives in. I wonder if he had that one made by West Coast Customs, cause I never saw that episode of Pimp My Ride.

Now the American Pie series have always been about boobs, or at least partially about boobs. It was a completely legitimate way to glance at boobs for 90 minutes and the series did had its fair share of some natural wonders. And if they were produced by a plastic surgeon (like Nadia’s were in the first movie) then they would at least look good. Not so here. basically every girl except one or two has their boobs done and in such a horrific way that they should demand a refund. The movie is full of stick-on tits and it really got annoying after a while. For a movie like this it’s probably really easy to attract some pretty young unknown girls with real breasts who don’t mind showing them in front of the camera. Well, apparently they do because the amount of (ugly) fake titties is incredible.

To show you what I’m talking about, let’s play a game called “Rate The Titties

American Pie Presents: The Book of Love Screenshot

Not only are 3 out of 4 manufactured by a surgeon the ones that are real aren’t prettiest around. The girl with the airbags actually looks scary

American Pie Presents: The Book of Love Screenshot

They could’ve gone through for real if the implants weren’t hanging so low. I bet the surgeon failed his nipple-placement-exams

American Pie Presents: The Book of Love Screenshot

Holy mother of God, what are those things supposed to be… I didn’t know they could have that shape.

American Pie Presents: The Book of Love Screenshot

The best ones in the movie I think other than the real ones. But all the real ones are rather small. There’s a “big naturals” porno-series out there. Maybe they should’ve cast some of those girls

So that’s enough titties for now. On a storyline-level the movie shamelessly reproduces the first movie only this time with a lot lesser talented actors. The original cast weren’t all thespians but they did have charisma and chemistry together. That is completely gone here and all we get is a couple of young actors who fail to impress me. The worst being Stifler. This is the blandest Stifler I’ve ever seen in this series. He isn’t even a driving force in this movie, rather just a bit-part which allows him to be obnoxious and nothing more. The guy isn’t even remotely funny. I didn’t like the Stifler we got in American Wedding, but that one is miles more engaging than this one.

American Pie Presents: The Book of Love is a worthless entry in the series and only worth your time if you are really into ugly silicone titties. For everybody else there’s always those good parts one and two and the just above average part three.

American Pie Presents: The Book of Love Screenshot
Nice doggy!
The Book of Love
American Pie Presents: The Book of Love Poster
American Pie Presents: The Book of Love

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